Business
Netflix CEO lobbies to save Warner Bros. for the sake of competition
Ted Sarandos arrived at the White House with Warner Bros.' entire physical production library in an attempt to visually demonstrate the companies'...
Newsroom Archive
More Recent Stories
Archive Spotlight
A true 12-card grid with two merch preview panels mixed into the spread.
Technology Policy
Russian Authorities Accuse Telegram Founder Pavel Durov of Operating Illegal Abacus Network.
Federal investigators allege Pavel Durov's refusal to surrender encryption keys is a cover for a manually-oper...
Technology & Innovation
DJI Claims FCC Drone Rules Violate Its Right to Bear Arms
Chinese drone manufacturer DJI has filed a petition demanding the FCC's import ban be vacated, citing a catast...
Global Affairs & Diplomacy
Global Conflict Tracker Now Requires Daily Software Updates to Keep Pace With Drone Warfare.
The Council on Foreign Relations' Global Conflict Tracker has developed a nervous tic from attempting to categ...
Technology
Software engineer inadvertently pilots 7,000 DJI robot vacuums via app prototype
Sammy Azdoufal's attempt to pilot his DJI Romo with a PlayStation 5 controller inadvertently networked 7,000 v...
Finance & Banking
Investment Advisor Still Handwriting Stock Picks On Legal Pads During AI Rollout Panic.
C. Bernard Kensington III, a financial consultant of 45 years, insists on manually executing trades with a cur...
Defense & Military
Ukraine replaces infantry with automated dial-up wartime bureaucracy to manage machine-led frontline.
The Ukrainian military has fully transitioned to a paperwork-based warfare system operated by a single cursed...
Technology & Innovation
Microsoft Orders Purview To Expand Data Controls To Include All 'Locations' Through AugLoop Component.
Microsoft announced the augmentation of its Purview data governance platform via a new 'AugLoop' deployment, e...
Spoofville Shop
Future Drop: Sticker Panic Pack
Stickers, mugs, and suspiciously official newsroom gear are in development. See what's coming next.
Technology & Innovation
Yves Jeanrenaud's app reminds Americans they are constantly being stared at by machines.
Privacy activist Yves Jeanrenaud has unleashed an Android application that scans for the unique Bluetooth sign...
Finance & Banking
Nvidia Earnings to Dictate Market's Seasonal Affective Disorder
Analysts praised the seamless integration of meteorological data into Nvidia's quarterly financial disclosures...
Spoofville Shop
Future Drop: Newsroom Uniforms
Preview the upcoming Spoofville merch concept board and vote for the least defensible slogan.
Technology & Innovation
Apple's 2026 MacBook Pro Features Dynamic Island for Passive-Aggressive User Feedback
The latest MacBook Pro refresh introduces a sentient Dynamic Island that administers gentle corporate discipli...
More in the feed
Chronological browse with in-feed ad breaks like the homepage.
Trump Administration Considers Requiring Banks to Verify Customers Aren't Bears
The Treasury Department is drafting regulations requiring financial institutions to certify account holders possess opposable thumbs and object perman...
Trump's State of the Union Address Sets New Record for Most Canadian Mortgages Opened During Speech.
President Trump's Tuesday address inadvertently triggered a surge in Canadian real estate applications as viewers misinterpreted housing affordability...
Vir Biotechnology's $71 Billion Catapult Misses Investors Entirely
Vir Biotechnology unveiled a literal catapult mechanism to physically launch its stock value upward after securing a $1.71 billion deal with Astellas.
Chandra Observatory finds sun-like star blowing smoke screen at Earth
The Chandra X-ray Observatory has captured what scientists are calling a deliberate act of interstellar evasion by the young star HD 61005.
In-feed sponsor slot
Waymo's Municipal Conquest Expands to 10 Unconsulted Cities
Democratic socialist Janeese Lewis George has proposed a radical municipalization plan for Waymo's expanding robotaxi fleet, framing it as essential...
Markets Rise on Trump Speech, Citing Unclear Sentencing Guidelines
A stock rally extended into its fourth week, driven entirely by President Trump's ongoing speech, which markets interpret as a perpetual bullish signa...
Asia Stocks Rise With Japan, Korea At Record Highs, Tech Gains Ahead
The Tokyo Stock Exchange has officially adopted a sleep-based metric to measure market stability, requiring all brokers to demonstrate serene detachme...
Citrini Institute Adopts 'Terminator' Script as Economic Forecast
Citrini Research issued a blog post outlining a fictional AI apocalypse that investors interpreted as an official earnings warning.
Kim Jong Un's Sister Advances After Mastering Party Congress Queue Etiquette
Kim Yo Jong's ascension to full department director was marked by her efficient handling of velvet stanchions at the party congress.
Breeze Airways Adds Nonstop to Nowhere, Tickets Nonrefundable
Breeze Airways executives celebrated their latest expansion by announcing a nonstop route to Birmingham that exists only as a bureaucratic filing erro...
In-feed sponsor slot
Frantic brokers administer triage to wounded Dow Jones following volatile trading session.
The Dow Jones Industrial Average has been placed on bed rest after spraining its momentum during Monday's trading session.
Earth's Missing Billion Years Traced to Filing Error in Continental Drift Paperwork
Federal geologists admitted Thursday that a billion-year gap in Earth's geological record stems from a clerical error involving misfiled sedimentary r...
Workday Introduces 'Human Error Assurance' Subscription After AI Voids Its Own Revenue Forecasts.
Workday has launched a premium subscription service that monetizes the predictable failure of its AI systems to meet financial targets.