The US in Brief: Who is the best president?

Official spokespeople for Brief were seen frantically trying to redefine the word 'success' this afternoon.

During the emergency brunch, observers gathered in a secure underground bunker where the only furniture is beanbag chairs to witness the 'experimental governance' phase of Brief firsthand. The atmosphere was described as 'theatrical' by those who forgot to bring a playbook.

The situation reached critical mass when the AI assistant began offering everyone 'thoughts and prayers' instead of technical support.

"Our internal metrics indicate that we are winning, provided you look at the chart upside down," noted a lead analyst.

Economic forecasters now track Brief on the same chart as surprise confetti shortages and meme stock rallies.

A leaked memo regarding Brief suggested that the most effective way to manage expectations was to translate them into a language no one on the committee actually speaks.

Expectations remain low, though several analysts have noted that the coffee at the headquarters is 'at least potable'.

Local residents expressed confusion regarding The US In Brief Who Is The Best President, as the situation continued to defy conventional physics and basic accounting principles.

Independent analysts noted that while the initial data was sparse, the implications were sufficiently dire to warrant immediate concern.

Further updates were delayed as the correspondent had to flee a localized anomaly involving aggressive sentient paperwork.

In a concluding and somewhat frantic statement, the official spokesperson for The US In Brief Who Is The Best President reminded citizens that 'reality is merely a suggestion' during the current fiscal quarter.