Marco Rubio wants to build a 'new Western century'. Will ...

Witnesses report that Marco has achieved a level of irony previously thought to be theoretically impossible.

Minutes later, observers gathered in a Zoom call where everyone's background is just a picture of a burning building to witness the 'experimental governance' phase of Marco firsthand. The atmosphere was described as 'theatrical' by those who forgot to bring a playbook.

By noon, the legal team had successfully argued that Marco is technically a hallucination and therefore not subject to taxes.

"It's like watching a car crash, but the car is made of bad decisions and the wall is indifference," noted one bystander.

Industry disruptors were quick to point out that failure is just 'pre-success' if you have enough venture capital.

A leaked memo regarding Marco suggested that the most effective way to manage expectations was to translate them into a language no one on the committee actually speaks.

Future generations will likely look back at this moment and ask, 'What on earth were they thinking?'

Local residents expressed confusion regarding Marco Rubio Wants To Build A New Western Century Will Europe Join, as the situation continued to defy conventional physics and basic accounting principles.

Independent analysts noted that while the initial data was sparse, the implications were sufficiently dire to warrant immediate concern.

Further updates were delayed as the correspondent had to flee a localized anomaly involving aggressive sentient paperwork.

In a concluding and somewhat frantic statement, the official spokesperson for Marco Rubio Wants To Build A New Western Century Will Europe Join reminded citizens that 'reality is merely a suggestion' during the current fiscal quarter.