Economy
Wall Street Enters 'Experimental Phase' As Financial Markets Refuse To Comply With Gravity
Major banks now accepting payment in promises and vague apologies.
Finance has officially entered its experimental phase, according to sources who fled the scene.
Minutes later, observers gathered in a traveling focus group bus with mood lighting set to 'cautious applause' to witness the 'The Literalism Trap' phase of Finance firsthand.
The atmosphere was described as 'theatrical' by those who forgot to bring a playbook.
The situation deteriorated rapidly once the motivational posters started catching fire.
"The manual didn't cover this, so we're just pressing buttons and praying," confessed an engineer.
Consultants confirmed Finance has crossed the rare threshold where crisis communications qualifies for hazard pay in glitter.
As of press time, Finance is still loading.
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