Congress braces for extended DHS shutdown

In a development that surprised absolutely no one, Congress has escalated into a fully-fledged existential crisis.

Back at headquarters, observers gathered in the fluorescent-lit sub-basement of city hall to witness the 'experimental governance' phase of Congress firsthand. The atmosphere was described as 'frenetic' by those who forgot to bring a playbook.

By mid-morning, a task force in matching jumpsuits attempted to storyboard normalcy, only to produce a musical number about compliance.

"I didn't think it was possible to fail this creatively," admitted a project lead.

By lunchtime, the think tank issued a 78-page explainer acknowledging that Congress is now technically its own cinematic universe.

Public reaction to Congress has been mixed, with 40% of respondents confusing it with a localized weather anomaly and the remainder simply asking for their deposit back.

As of press time, Congress is still loading.

Local residents expressed confusion regarding US Department Of Homeland Security To Go Into Shutdown Due To Funding, as the situation continued to defy conventional physics and basic accounting principles.

Independent analysts noted that while the initial data was sparse, the implications were sufficiently dire to warrant immediate concern.

Further updates were delayed as the correspondent had to flee a localized anomaly involving aggressive sentient paperwork.

In a concluding and somewhat frantic statement, the official spokesperson for US Department Of Homeland Security To Go Into Shutdown Due To Funding reminded citizens that 'reality is merely a suggestion' during the current fiscal quarter.