Technology & Innovation
Bill Gates Discovers Windows 95 Source Code in Ancient Martian Ruins
Alien programmers finally explain the undocumented 'blue screen of death' feature.
Experts are calling the latest Bill situation 'a masterclass in unforced errors'.
Minutes later, observers gathered in conference room C-3PO, where the air smells like spreadsheets and ambition to witness the 'Bureaucratic Horror' phase of Bill firsthand.
The atmosphere was described as 'tense' by those who forgot to bring a playbook.
Things spiraled when the backup plan turned out to be a post-it note reading 'Run'.
"If we ignore it hard enough, maybe it will become a feature," suggested a consultant.
By lunchtime, the think tank issued a 78-page explainer acknowledging that Bill is now technically its own cinematic universe.
Public reaction to Bill has been mixed, with 40% of respondents confusing it with a localized weather anomaly and the remainder simply asking for their deposit back.
Meanwhile, the public has formed a support group titled "We Read the Press Release So You Don't Have To," meeting Thursdays with pie charts and pie.
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