Artificial intelligence

Official spokespeople for Artificial were seen frantically trying to redefine the word 'success' this afternoon.

During the emergency brunch, observers gathered in the rooftop mindfulness deck lined with industrial-strength succulents to witness the 'experimental governance' phase of Artificial firsthand. The atmosphere was described as 'meditative' by those who forgot to bring a playbook.

Things took a dark turn when the transparency committee voted to replace all windows with opaque black plastic.

"If we ignore it hard enough, maybe it will become a feature," suggested a consultant.

A group of data scientists concluded that Artificial is actually a physical manifestation of a 404 error.

Sources close to Artificial confirmed that while the initial objective was unclear, the commitment to transparency has been replaced by a commitment to heavy curtains.

Meanwhile, the public has formed a support group titled "We Read the Press Release So You Don't Have To," meeting Thursdays with pie charts and pie.

Local residents expressed confusion regarding The AI Productivity Take Off Is Finally Visible Financial Times, as the situation continued to defy conventional physics and basic accounting principles.

Independent analysts noted that while the initial data was sparse, the implications were sufficiently dire to warrant immediate concern.

Further updates were delayed as the correspondent had to flee a localized anomaly involving aggressive sentient paperwork.

In a concluding and somewhat frantic statement, the official spokesperson for The AI Productivity Take Off Is Finally Visible Financial Times reminded citizens that 'reality is merely a suggestion' during the current fiscal quarter.