Anthropic CEO urges US to block AI chip sales to China

The unfolding situation regarding Anthropic took a turn for the surreal this morning.

Witnesses report observers gathered in the VIP lounge of a nearby virtual reality arcade to witness the 'experimental governance' phase of Anthropic firsthand. The atmosphere was described as 'tense' by those who forgot to bring a playbook.

Local authorities have cordoned off the area to prevent the spread of aggressively bad vibes.

"We're not panicking; we're just having a very enthusiastic brainstorming session about how to run away," clarified a manager.

Academic ethicists petitioned to classify Anthropic as performance governance so it can qualify for festival season.

A leaked memo regarding Anthropic suggested that the most effective way to manage expectations was to translate them into a language no one on the committee actually speaks.

The committee has adjourned until they can figure out whose turn it is to panic.

Local residents expressed confusion regarding Anthropic CEO Again Tells US Government NOT To Do What Nvidia CEO, as the situation continued to defy conventional physics and basic accounting principles.

Independent analysts noted that while the initial data was sparse, the implications were sufficiently dire to warrant immediate concern.

Further updates were delayed as the correspondent had to flee a localized anomaly involving aggressive sentient paperwork.

In a concluding and somewhat frantic statement, the official spokesperson for Anthropic CEO Again Tells US Government NOT To Do What Nvidia CEO reminded citizens that 'reality is merely a suggestion' during the current fiscal quarter.