2026 pop culture will be monumental - by Kelly Niesen

Culture has officially entered its experimental phase, according to sources who fled the scene.

Witnesses report observers gathered in conference room C-3PO, where the air smells like spreadsheets and ambition to witness the 'The Literalism Trap' phase of Culture firsthand.

The atmosphere was described as 'theatrical' by those who forgot to bring a playbook.

By mid-morning, a task force in matching jumpsuits attempted to storyboard normalcy, only to produce a musical number about compliance.

"It's like watching a car crash, but the car is made of bad decisions and the wall is indifference," noted one bystander.

Economic forecasters now track Culture on the same chart as surprise confetti shortages and meme stock rallies.

Meanwhile, the public has formed a support group titled "We Read the Press Release So You Don't Have To," meeting Thursdays with pie charts and pie.